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Emu

Artist's impression of an Emu

The common Emu is a very dangerous bird. They normally grow to about 8 feet tall, and specimens have been known to reach 10 feet. They have deadly sharp beaks that can disembowel a human in under 2 seconds, and huge claws capable of tearing through tires like tissue paper.

They roam on the roads around Colorado, attacking passing cars, vans, lorries (trucks), motorhomes, etc., and devouring the passengers. They will also steal steak right off the barbie (grill).

Did you know? Gryph was once kidnapped by emus.

Quick Facts

  • If you want a pet Emu: Forget it.
  • If you see an Emu: Run.
  • If you are attacked by an Emu: Contemplate about how lucky you were to have led a good and happy life up until this point. If you have not led a good and happy life, at least it will soon be over.

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